I was inspired to write this article after watching the comment battle unfold on a recent post I put up on Instagram. I was saddened that a congratulatory post ended up becoming a source of tension and debate (and at times conflict).
Giving birth, no matter how it happens, is a profound magical and unforgettable life experience. It’s also deeply personal. As intimate as an event can be. Unfortunately, a pregnancy is also a life event where everyone and their mother (and grandmother, and BFF, and husband) feels the need to offer their experience or opinion. Pregnant women have to deal with so much unsolicited advice, judgments, and suggestions.
Most of the time these clumsy interventions come from good intentions. But each woman is different and overall, each birth is unique. What happened to one of us isn’t going to happen to every woman. What we want isn’t the wish of everyone either. So, why put more stress on the mothers shoulders?
This event should be a joyous and empowering event. Something to be celebrated. We, women, should stop talking and start listening. Make space for other new Moms’ stories, choices, experiences and feelings. They may want to give birth naturally, without drugs, at home or at the hospital, in a tub, using hypnosis or any other method. With a Doctor, Doula, or Midwife. It’s fine, because it’s their choice, their body and their baby. And if they want advice, I’m sure they’ll ask for it.
The fact that we are able to give life is an amazing power and privilege. It should bring us together, not divide us. Let’s be supportive and compassionate! Let’s respect other women’s choices and experience. Giving birth is an accomplishment, no matter how it happens!